specimen, 1983
a terrifying chair that i would never sit in
I want my ass in this immediately
You: rolling around in office chair
Me: hanging from the ceiling waiting for prey to walk under me
when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw
one important thing that Must be understood about interpersonal relationships is that you have to stop interacting with people who love you like they’re one slip-up away from leaving you. you have to trust that the ppl you love mean what they say. you have to believe that when they say “this hurt my feelings,” that they’re also saying, “can you please love me this other way next time?” and you have to wrap your head around the fact that even if you don’t understand Why someone loves you, you can accept that that they do. true, honest, & open love does not function like hp in a video game !!!!!!
Friends, sweet friends. Most beloved ones.
When you are having a hard time, and you say to a friend things like “You’re gonna leave me anyway” or “You don’t really like me, you’re just being nice”—
They do not hear what you mean, which is “I feel like I am not good enough to keep people around, and anybody with sense would leave.” Because, to them, of course you are. They’re friends with you; they have stayed around. They do not exist inside your head; they exist inside their own head, wherein they love and care about you.
What your friends hear when you say “You’re gonna leave me anyway” is “I do not trust you not to betray me.”
What they hear when you say “You’re just being nice” is “You are a faker and a liar, and I think all of the gestures you made and work you did to demonstrate your love for me are insincere.”
That is very hard to hear from someone you care about.
When you push people away again and again in anticipation of being hurt, eventually they will get the (often false) message that they are not wanted or trusted, and leave.
This, of course, hurts you both.
This is what people mean when they say “Nobody can love you until you learn to love yourself.” It’s not that people who struggle with self-loathing don’t deserve love. Of course you deserve love! It’s that if you believe deep down that you are not worth loving, it is very very hard for the people who love you to throw themselves at a brick wall again and again trying to convince you otherwise.
And if the brick wall stays up, none of that feeling of love gets through to you, and you keep suffering.
This is not, of course, to say that people who struggle with trust in relationships, or with feeling loved, are bad people, or inherently hurtful.
It’s to say that the old coping mechanisms that end up hurting you also end up hurting your loved ones, because they care about you.
The next time somebody says that they love you, do them the courtesy of assuming they are being honest.
That’s how the light gets in.
not to be disabled on main but have you ever fucking noticed how every god damn thing requires both time and energy
